Toronto – So, another one bites the dust. This time it’s Denise Ann Williams, a 62-year-old Aussie who thought she could handle the Canadian wilderness solo. Turns out, Cape Breton Highlands National Park isn't exactly Bondi Beach. After six days of the Mounties playing Where's Waldo in the woods, they've pulled the plug. Shocking.

The RCMP, bless their hearts, wasted taxpayer dollars on an “extensive” air and ground search, complete with dogs and a hundred or so people traipsing around. But hey, “no new information,” so time to cut losses. Maybe next time, Denise should stick to walking the dog around the block instead of LARPing as Crocodile Dundee.

Cape Breton Highlands National Park, we’re told, is a whopping 360 square miles of cliffs, canyons, and bogs. Translation: it's basically nature's obstacle course designed to humble the overconfident. And let's not forget the wildlife. Bears and moose? Just part of the scenery. In 2009, a folk singer got turned into coyote chow in the same park. Maybe they should rename it Darwin Awards National Park.

RCMP Cpl Mandy Edwards says Denise was on an “adventure” vacation. An adventure in potentially becoming bear scat, apparently. Look, I’m all for personal freedom and whatnot, but some people need a reality check. Hiking alone in the Canadian wilderness? That’s not adventure; that's a Darwin Award nomination waiting to happen.

The virtue-signaling CBC interviewed some local search and rescue guy, Chris Bellemore, who said his “heart goes out to her family.” Yeah, well, my heart goes out to the taxpayers who footed the bill for this rescue mission. Maybe we should start charging stupidity fees at the park entrance.

This whole thing is just another example of why personal responsibility is dead. Instead of preparing adequately and understanding the risks, people expect the government to swoop in and save them from their own dumb choices. It's the same mentality that leads to avocado toast and crippling student debt. Grow up, people.

Let’s be real, the odds of finding Denise alive at this point are slim to none. And while that’s tragic, it’s also a cautionary tale. The wilderness doesn’t care about your feelings or your Instagram feed. It’s a harsh, unforgiving place, and if you’re not prepared, it will eat you alive. Metaphorically, or literally, depending on the coyotes.