Jervis Bay, Australia – So, another ADF soldier bought the farm doing what? Oh, right, jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. You'd think after the Fitzgibbon fiasco in '24, someone might've, I dunno, checked the chutes? But nah, gotta keep those 'readiness' numbers up, even if it means feeding our brave lads into the meat grinder. Darwin would be proud.

Defense is bleating about 'further updates when possible.' Translation: We're lawyering up and trying to figure out how to spin this so it doesn't look like we're running a military kindergarten. One other bloke got scraped up, but thankfully, he's not ghost riding the sky chariot just yet.

Let's rewind, shall we? Remember Jack Fitzgibbon, son of that Labor shill? Splattered himself on the tarmac back in '24. Then some poor sod bit it in a vehicle rollover up in Townsville in '25. Pattern recognition, anyone? Or are we just allergic to basic competence?

Look, I'm not saying parachuting isn't risky. It is. But when you're losing soldiers to 'training accidents' at this rate, it's less about inherent risk and more about systemic incompetence. Are we cutting corners? Are the instructors phoning it in? Is the equipment older than Methuselah? These are the questions that need answering, preferably before we turn the ADF into a statistical anomaly.

But hey, who cares, right? As long as we can virtue signal to the rest of the world about how 'progressive' and 'inclusive' our military is, who gives a toss if a few soldiers end up as fertilizer? Gotta keep those woke points high, even if it means sacrificing a few real human beings along the way. This is fine.

Maybe we should start equipping our soldiers with participation trophies instead of parachutes. At least then they'd have something to show for their service, other than a dirt nap. Stay tuned, folks, for the next installment of 'ADF: Where Training Accidents Happen!'