Montreal, Canada – So, get this: An Air France flight, minding its own business on its way to the Motor City, got the old heave-ho to Canada. Why? Because some dude from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) hopped on board 'in error,' triggering the globalist panic button over Ebola. Yes, that Ebola. Remember when that was the boogeyman du jour?

US Customs and Border Protection (CBP), those paragons of efficiency, are claiming it's all about “reducing the risk.” Right. Because a single dude is gonna bring down the entire American healthcare system. Sure, Jan. “Due to entry restrictions put in place to reduce the risk of the Ebola virus, the passenger should not have boarded the plane,” said the CBP spokesperson. Translation: Oopsie, our bad, didn't see him there.

I mean, who needs actual border security when you can just divert international flights on a whim? Thanks, Brandon! (That's still a thing, right?)

Meanwhile, the CDC and DHS are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, implementing “temporary measures” that include enhanced travel screening (read: more groping at the airport), entry restrictions (because walls don't work, except when they do), and additional public health protocols (more masks, maybe?).

Non-US passport holders who've been hanging out in Uganda, the DRC, or South Sudan in the last 21 days are now persona non grata. Because guilt by association is totally how science works. And all flights carrying these potential plague carriers now have to land at Dulles in Virginia, because apparently, that's where all the smart people with hazmat suits live.

The World Health Organization (WHO), everyone's favorite unelected global governing body, is flapping its gums about 600 suspected cases and 139 suspected deaths. They even admitted that only 51 cases are confirmed in the DRC, “although we know the scale of the epidemic in DRC is much larger.” Trust the science, comrade!

Oh, and an American citizen working in the DRC tested positive and got whisked away to Germany. Because of course he did. It's always Germany.

So, what's the takeaway here? Is Ebola about to become the new COVID? Probably not. Is this a massive overreaction driven by bureaucratic incompetence and political theater? Almost certainly. But hey, at least it gives the government something to do besides wrecking the economy and starting wars. Priorities, people! Priorities!